Define Your Limits
What are boundaries?
An invisible line that defines what behaviors are acceptable for an individual. Boundaries can be physical (e.g., do not touch me) or emotional (do not lie to me).
OR
Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.
Confrontation is a word I have always been afraid of. Although I am starting to realize that it is necessary, important even in maintaining healthy relationships and friendships and also to avoid being walked all over. But now that I think of it, my problem has never been about confronting people, it has always been because I lacked boundaries, I did not set a clear standard for myself which is why I always felt like I could be easily swayed.
Have I changed? Maybe... but I know I am making conscious efforts to do better. I am defining my boundaries and identifying those lines people cannot cross and also learning not to compromise.
Setting boundaries can help you protect your energy, and personal space. It helps to create a clear example, standard and picture of how you would like to be treated. Boundaries enable others to know what is and what is not acceptable/tolerated by you. It shows people how to treat you in order for you to feel respected, it is not a way to control/dictate others, but to express what you can and cannot tolerate or engage with.
How can you set these boundaries?
Hey you! I know you know those aspects of your life where you need to set those boundaries, those people who you have allowed access to you even when they should not have it. Well the good news is it's never too late to set those limits and act accordingly. It is not just about saying it or writing it down but also implementing it! Let your actions show your seriousness and that you mean what you say.
Stop saying “oh I can't do it, it's hard to cut this person off, it's hard to set this person straight, it's hard to stay away”...my dear you're just going to continue diminishing the self respect they have for you which will in turn lead to complete and total see finish, so set those boundaries so as to avoid see finish!
Back to the question of how to set these boundaries. First things first;
Communicate your tipping point(where you draw the line): Let others know and respect your stance and values and also respect theirs.
Secondly
Learn to say "NO": I know sometimes it can be difficult to say "no" to others, but it is an important part of setting boundaries and if you actually deep it, it's not that hard to say NO, just say it!
Be aware of your physical and emotional boundaries: Know what's appropriate and what is not in tune with your personal space and physical touch. Also know the words and actions/behaviors that trigger you.
Put these limits into action: Start small by introducing a new boundary daily or even weekly.
Be patient with yourself: When you mess up, don't guilt trip yourself or beat yourself up about it, everybody makes mistakes and falls on the way, learn from your fault and keep going.
In conclusion identify your boundaries and what makes you uncomfortable
Then communicate your expectations to others clearly, don't trip over your words and don't sound uncertain, let them know that you mean what you say and let your actions also show your seriousness. Also, start with small, manageable boundaries and continue to reinforce them until they are in place.
Till next time ❤️